It’s safe to say I’m not enjoying Health Factory. I’ve lost 1kg in the last two weeks but I truthfully don’t think it’s anything to do with the food – mainly because I keep going out for dinner.

The fact is, I just don’t think it’s healthy. How can haloumi cheese, half a piece of brown arabic bread and some cucumber sticks be better than my previous breakfast of spelt cereal, berries, almond milk and milled flaxseed? I’ve been discarding the odd meal and replacing with my own which seems pretty wasteful.

Speaking of which, I am a reluctant recycler and have almost zero interest in the environment (although I hope global warming holds off until I leave Dubai), but the number of little plastic boxes I receive – and bin – on a daily basis is RIDICULOUS.

And speaking of ridiculous, I’ve been advised to only have two alcoholic drinks. Per week. I almost laughed in the doctor’s face. Between a night out on Thursday (then the shout of ‘back to mine! for fish finger sandwiches and homemade cocktails) and the polo on Friday, where those pesky waiters were just too damn obliging with the drinks, this weekend was a write-off.

Anyway, rant over. I’m going to try and give it a fair shot. But have wine and tapas after work tonight then a dinner on Wednesday. Then off to Muscat for the weekend. So, in fact, I’m not going to give it a fair shot at all, so that was a total lie.

They’ve sent a chicken shwarma for lunch today. Not ideal.